tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8983687699975451453.post4061187035178052402..comments2024-01-02T16:42:15.732-05:00Comments on Redlines and Deadlines: What Readers Want: BDSMECPI Editorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00569261288668237013noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8983687699975451453.post-1035132575585817222010-08-23T20:39:15.463-04:002010-08-23T20:39:15.463-04:00I write light bdsm and enjoy exploring the charact...I write light bdsm and enjoy exploring the characters' psyches, especially the heroine's.Debra Glasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11569641430632477351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8983687699975451453.post-82016851825290436792010-07-07T09:45:42.709-04:002010-07-07T09:45:42.709-04:00I get frustrated as a BDSM romance reader because ...I get frustrated as a BDSM romance reader because the BDSM in romance books is always so soft. It's like the "Dom" is so busy catering to the sub's needs and pleasures that the dynamic is skewed in the other direction, where the sub is the dom and the dom is the servant of the sub.<br /><br />What I like is Doms taking what they want and subs surrendering it. (according to pre-negotiated limits, of course). In my books I try to make it clear, though, that what is going on is pleasurable to both parties. That the sub enjoys the pain, degradation, humiliation and/or not having her needs met at the dom's discretion, etc. I know that is hard for some readers to understand if what they really want is silk ties and fuzzy handcuffs, but I also know I have a pretty loyal niche of readers who are into the more intense BDSM play. <br /><br />It is frustrating though because 95% of the BDSM romance out there is way too soft for me. And then I read things like this and realize it's because readers want it that way. :(Annabel Josephhttp://annabeljoseph.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8983687699975451453.post-14054077703312144752010-06-05T02:40:40.461-04:002010-06-05T02:40:40.461-04:00I am loving this discussion!
Actually, I spoke wi...I am loving this discussion! <br />Actually, I spoke with a few Doms this week and discussed the SM part of BDSM (research--I swear it was only research! lol!). One man made an interesting comment: <br />"I think there is a time and place for everything - and used as part of the path and used properly, SM can be of value. But sadism for the sake of being cruel? No, I see no purpose in that other than destruction."<br />Just some food for thought. Very good thoughts ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8983687699975451453.post-28160756037367122762010-06-04T12:51:45.982-04:002010-06-04T12:51:45.982-04:00BDSM is my favorite genre of erotic fiction. My ta...BDSM is my favorite genre of erotic fiction. My tastes apparently run harsher than your average readers (if, as Anonymous pointed out, they were being truly forthright). I resent books that promise BDSM but never really deliver (and there are a lot of those). I resent authors that try to explain a sub's preferences by some childhood issue, as though there were something inherently sick or wrong with it. I enjoy the psychological and emotional writings of Joey W. Hill (she's fantastic, isn't she!), but I wouldn't want all of my BDSM to be so heavy. <br /><br />I like my Doms to be very dominant. I think the tricky part is that on one hand, they have to be sadistic to get off on what they're doing to their subs (don't do me any favors and pretend because that doesn't work for me) and yet they have to be respectful and loving at heart. <br /><br />Good writers handle that--safe words or no, cages, leashes, etc. whatever. If the characters are real and the conflicts are real and the romance is real, then the fantasy is fantastic and hot and the harsher the elements the better. <br /><br />Literotica.com BDSM category features many stories that EC would consider too harsh (and granted, the vast majority could use editing), but there are some wonderful, very hot and very romantic, very harsh stories. <br /><br />So, while I may be in the minority of BDSM readers (or not, it was just a panel, after all), I'm hardly alone. At least there's me and the other Anonymous on this blog, right?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8983687699975451453.post-58866101085497994292010-06-04T09:30:10.878-04:002010-06-04T09:30:10.878-04:00Well said, Anonymous. To each their own, eh? My po...Well said, Anonymous. To each their own, eh? My point was just that in using the term BDSM as a 'catch-all' there is a level of misunderstanding. <br /><br />My apologies if I did not state it clearly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8983687699975451453.post-90489836871262337022010-06-04T04:48:37.249-04:002010-06-04T04:48:37.249-04:00But some of us REALLY like and enjoy erotic humili...But some of us REALLY like and enjoy erotic humiliation and degradation when overall it is a game and there is love as well. <br />I wonder if people at a conference were scared to admit that openly. I don't think you would get honest responses in that kind of open forum.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8983687699975451453.post-48660667836126191172010-06-03T13:15:02.627-04:002010-06-03T13:15:02.627-04:00Thabnks, Meghan. I write a lot of BDSM and I stay ...Thabnks, Meghan. I write a lot of BDSM and I stay away from the things the readers dislike because I don't like it, either. I printed this out to sue as a future guide. Great stuff.Desiree Holthttp://www.desireholt.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8983687699975451453.post-2934745422868162162010-06-03T11:08:57.391-04:002010-06-03T11:08:57.391-04:00I find it interesting that readers, and most devot...I find it interesting that readers, and most devotees of BDSM dislike the SM part (I do, too). <br /><br />Sadism and masochism rely on cruelty, and we don't want that--but by name we're asking for it. <br /><br />We need a new acronym.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8983687699975451453.post-22974922008004477112010-06-01T14:20:39.260-04:002010-06-01T14:20:39.260-04:00This all makes so much sense. I know I don't ...This all makes so much sense. I know I don't like reading stories where the woman is degraded. It irks me.Lesley Spellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14752962065518940782noreply@blogger.com