Bookstore Wit

http://www.quickmeme.com/Judgmental-Bookseller-Ostrich/?upcoming

OMG, you have got to go look at these satiric Q&A signs for bookstores. Makes you totally understand what booksellers go through.

A few samples:

"Yes, we have that book with the green cover by that famous guy. It’s over in the books section."

"Where non-fiction? See the Fiction section? Everywhere but there."

"I’m trying to just be happy that you’re reading…but seriously, put down the Stephanie Meyers."

"It’s a green book with a flower on the cover? No problem. Because that’s totally how we organize this store."

Fiction Rules Ebooks

Over half of all ebooks purchased are fiction, according to the recently released Bowker "2010-2011 U.S. Book Consumer Demographics & Buying Behaviors Annual Review". Their survey of 40,000 book buyers reveals that fiction ebook sales account for 61% by unit and 51% by dollars. The other (various non-fiction and children's) genres measured ranged from 3% to 14% market share each.

Online retailers of books accounted for 30% of all sales in 2010, with the major bookstore chains captured 29%. It was clear that consumers buy both ebooks and print books more from online retailers. Amazon and Barnes&Noble tied as the U.S.'s largest volume booksellers in 2010.

Cave Tales: Fun With Faolan

The jobs of the hard-working Publishing staff are stressful. Therefore, as thoughtful and wise employers, we implement techniques and activities to reduce that stress. As displayed by this clip.



Proven stress-reducer: new Corgi puppy.

Thank you to Meghan for taking the video, to Kelli for starring in it, and to Raelene for supplying the puppy (who is now named Faolan, Gaelic for "little wolf").

Influential Female Authors

Forbes has an article listing the ten most powerful woman authors.

http://blogs.forbes.com/avrildavid/2011/06/06/the-10-most-powerful-women-authors/
(June 6, 2011)

"The women selected for this list are powerful because of their ability to influence us through their words and ideas. Collectively, these women hold readers captivated with stories of fantastical worlds, suspense and drama, insights into the complexities of minority experiences and cultures, and fresh takes on societal issues and expectations…not to mention, book sales of up to 800M copies sold and a wealth of prestigious awards and recognition including Nobel and Pulitzer Prizes."

Read the article for details on these women. They are quite a diverse group.
J.K. Rowling
Danielle Steele
Toni Morrison
Stephanie Meyer
Mary Higgins Clark
Maya Angelou
Alice Walker
Jhumpa Lahiri
Joyce Carol Oates
Isabel Allende

These are all big, famous names. (And the list is limited to living authors.) But for many of us, the books and writers who influenced us personally are not such global personalities. Reading Georgette Heyer as a pre-teen gave me my livelong love of history, of social manners, and of romance novels. What female authors had an impact on your life? 

E-millions

Amazon has announced that six authors have now sold more than 1 million Kindle books each: Stieg Larsson, James Patterson, Nora Roberts, Charlaine Harris, Lee Child and Suzanne Collins.

I'd love to know what the total number of ebook sales are for these authors, not just Kindle format sales. If you add the ePub format sold at Barnes & Noble, Sony, Kobo... Let alone the smaller e-tailers, direct from publisher sales; and then additional common ebook formats like PDF and others.

You're Gonna Have to Face it...

By Kelli Collins 

So this was fun. This article warning women of those dangerous, dangerous romance novels. You know…those things to which I’ve dedicated my professional life.

Apparently romance novels can ruin your marriage, turn you into a recluse, cause clinical depression, lead to nosebleeds, increase flatulence, prompt rituals in the name of Aphrodite and contribute to tingling in your nether regions. (And let’s not forget the dreaded Fluttering Vajayjays.)

What? You didn’t know?

The article by Kimberly Sayer-Giles points out romance sales exceed those of inspirational, religious and self-help books combined by more than half a billion (though she fails to mention from which year she culled those figures). That Ms. Sayer-Giles is a self-help guru speaks volumes. Gee, lady, how about veiling your attempt to drum up business for yourself by trashing an entire industry? Home-wreckers like myself would really appreciate it, thanks.

Oh, I’m sorry. Not self-help guru. Ms. Sayer-Giles is a “life coach”. Yes, in quotes. Largely because I figure we need “life coaches” like we need “executive phone managers” and “deep-fry specialists” and “nail technicians”. Slap a fancy title on your business card and you’re still making a living telling people their underachieving choices aren’t good enough.

But what am I saying? I’ve completely overlooked the known fact that romance readers believe every syllable we publish. Of COURSE they fully believe every man alive should be a 6’5”, ruggedly handsome, muscular bronze god. Of course they expect every man to plumb the depths of his deepest feelings and invite his studly friends home for a three-way romp to satisfy his woman’s fantasies. Before shifting into a werewolf and scurrying out the back door to howl at the moon. Naturally.

Thank God we have professional self-help mavens to pull us back from our unrealistic expectations and give us a nice punch of reality to the face. I was thisclose to divorcing my husband and posting a personal ad to find my own broodingly sexy vampire life-mate.

Whew. Close call. Thanks, coach.

Supporting Bookstores

An interesting article by M.J. Rose with advice from best-selling authors and from booksellers on what authors can and should do to support their local bookstores and improve local sales of their books.

http://publishingperspectives.com/2011/05/romancing-the-bookseller/

E overtakes Print at Amazon

So, are you a member of the "print is dead" party? Or the "there will always be both" group? Or the "If it isn't in print I won't read it" fringe? Where do you see print books five years from now?

Here's the first section of the press release:

Amazon.com Now Selling More Kindle Books Than Print Books

SEATTLE, May 19, 2011

Amazon began selling hardcover and paperback books in July 1995. Twelve years later in November 2007, Amazon introduced the revolutionary Kindle and began selling Kindle books. By July 2010, Kindle book sales had surpassed hardcover book sales, and six months later, Kindle books overtook paperback books to become the most popular format on Amazon.com. Today, less than four years after introducing Kindle books, Amazon.com customers are now purchasing more Kindle books than all print books - hardcover and paperback - combined.

"Customers are now choosing Kindle books more often than print books. We had high hopes that this would happen eventually, but we never imagined it would happen this quickly - we've been selling print books for 15 years and Kindle books for less than four years," said Jeff Bezos, Founder and CEO, Amazon.com. "In addition, we're excited by the response to Kindle with Special Offers for only $114, which has quickly become the bestselling member of the Kindle family. We continue to receive positive comments from customers on the low $114 price and the money-saving special offers. We're grateful to our customers for continuing to make Kindle the bestselling e-reader in the world and the Kindle Store the most popular e-bookstore in the world."

Recent milestones for Kindle include:

Since April 1, for every 100 print books Amazon.com has sold, it has sold 105 Kindle books. This includes sales of hardcover and paperback books by Amazon where there is no Kindle edition. Free Kindle books are excluded and if included would make the number even higher.

So far in 2011, the tremendous growth of Kindle book sales, combined with the continued growth in Amazon's print book sales, have resulted in the fastest year-over-year growth rate for Amazon's U.S. books business, in both units and dollars, in over 10 years. This includes books in all formats, print and digital. Free books are excluded in the calculation of growth rates.

Amazon sold more than 3x as many Kindle books so far in 2011 as it did during the same period in 2010.

Less than one year after introducing the UK Kindle Store, Amazon.co.uk is now selling more Kindle books than hardcover books, even as hardcover sales continue to grow. Since April 1, Amazon.co.uk customers are purchasing Kindle books over hardcover books at a rate of more than 2 to 1.

Blue Collar Erotica

Okay, you absolutely must go watch this video. It's long, but sheer entertainment to the end. George Lopez promotes romance heroes who are plain, working class guys rather than millionaire businessmen or SEALs. He and some audience members read some sample ideas. Hysterical!
http://www.lopeztonight.com/episode_recaps_and_highlights/blue_collar_romance_novels.php

Fun With Adjectives

by Kelli Collins

**Note: “Fun” as in “making fun of”. Because that’s how I roll.**

I see a lot of original adjective use during the course of an average submission read. And that’s cool. I’d rather authors take a stab and get creative, even if it ultimately doesn’t work, rather than bear witness to the word “hot” or “wet” 192 times in a 10K sub. Again. Adjective abuse, my friends, is no laughing matter.

I’m lying. It’s funnier than a rubber crutch. Especially when the adjective lends impossible action to body parts. That’s the best. For instance, we’ve all read about the mythical Pulsing Penis, right? I hate to be a wuss but if my man stalks toward me with his love muscle visibly pulsing, I’m frickin’ outta there. Or setting him up as a human carnival ride and making a TON of money.

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of what I suspect is the female counterpart to the glut of pulsing penises—the Fluttering Pussy. And after pausing to pull myself together because the very sight of those words together makes me giggle like a five-year-old, I just shrug and let it go. Because most authors can restrain themselves from using a humdinger like that over and over and over. I mean, something that phenomenal should be reserved for special occasions, right? Sort of like your heirloom china or your best rubber sheets.

Then I read a sub last week that used the magical phrase 34 times. Now, I know it was probably meant in the “throbbing” definition of the word, but still…34 times. I had to make fun, right?

And of course I have to share the fun that resulted from that fun, right?

Right. So for those of you not down with the Twitter, please enjoy the Tweet spawned by this abundance of Fluttering Pussies, along with some of the responses. And authors…you don’t have to choose your adjectives with more care. But you might end up in a post if you don’t. You’ve been warned. *evil grin*

Original Tweet:

@EditMeThis: The book I’m currently reading is chock-full of “fluttering” vajayjays. #fly! #flyawayvajajay

Responses:

@caitmiller: I can see where a vajayjay would flutter…but not so much it’s in danger of taking off.

@DelDryden: LOL Okay I’m picturing like some sort of SF/F horror thing where the fluttering vajayjay is 1st clue she’s an alien. Not good.

@AnnMayburn: I’ve heard of fluttering your eyelashes to get a man’s attention…maybe my flirting techniques have been too subtle.

@Christine_dAbo: I hate it when that happens.

@shainorton: Please tell me they don’t also have butterfly tattoos.

@victoriablisse: I am pretty sure my vajayjay has never fluttered. Unless it was very windy I suppose…

@andrewtshaffer: Flying vajayjays? Say it ain’t so.

@marifreeman: Noooo. Stay, vajayjay. Stay.

@sommer_marsden: Oh look! There goes one! Hand me the net…

@LeighElwood: I need to read this now.