He contemplated the miniscule chamber, its prosaic tile at
odds with the neo-modernistic appurtenances.
Excuse me? I honestly had a writer once who used words like
this in the novel he was writing. The above sentence is a description of a
bathroom in an old farmhouse. Although I consider myself well-read and
familiar with the English language, I had trouble getting through his story.
This is an example of PhD language. Words that are too full of themselves or
using language that sends the reader running for the dictionary.
If your reader has to stop to figure out what you’re saying,
you’ve lost him or her. The use of simple words does not
always mean dull or uninteresting. For instance, walk may be dull; stroll is simple but
descriptive and interesting; perambulate is verbose. Consider the following
examples:
Dull? Interesting Over the Top
cart carriage conveyance
wordy glib loquacious
name moniker sobriquet
Hopefully you see the pattern here. Use colorful,
interesting language but don’t require your reader to check the dictionary
every other sentence.
When we write, we tend to use the same favorite words over
and over. Like meatloaf or a well-remembered meal from childhood, they’re
comfortable. We know them—know how to spell them and use them. Ah, but does
that mean they’re good?
Not necessarily. Just like a favorite dessert, too much of
anything is not good. Some words that seem perfectly fine are
actually weak words that give your writing less impact than it should have.
For instance, Shakespeare didn’t call Katharina a mean
woman. He called her a shrew. When a cat is chasing a mouse, it doesn’t jump
suddenly. It pounces. A teenage boy wolfs his food. The words shrew, pounce and
wolf are stronger than the lukewarm phrases they replace. Search your manuscript for overused or lukewarm nouns and verbs
and see if you can’t find a better way to say it with stronger
words.
2 comments:
I agree, using words that many readers will have to look up in the dictionary is bad. Once in a while, though, I like to throw in a less common word when it fits the situation better than any of its simpler synonyms. Once in a while, I said--certainly not often enough that the readers think my erotic romance is a veiled prep course for the SAT or worse, the GRE.
There's so much temptation, especially for newer writers, to use the Latinate dictionary over the Anglo. I've been guilty of that more than I care to admit. Yet the Anglo lexicon can pack more punch and convey meaning so well, if used artfully.
Either way, using sesquipedalian (*wink*) words for the sake of using long words is annoying.
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