Fun With Adjectives

by Kelli Collins

**Note: “Fun” as in “making fun of”. Because that’s how I roll.**

I see a lot of original adjective use during the course of an average submission read. And that’s cool. I’d rather authors take a stab and get creative, even if it ultimately doesn’t work, rather than bear witness to the word “hot” or “wet” 192 times in a 10K sub. Again. Adjective abuse, my friends, is no laughing matter.

I’m lying. It’s funnier than a rubber crutch. Especially when the adjective lends impossible action to body parts. That’s the best. For instance, we’ve all read about the mythical Pulsing Penis, right? I hate to be a wuss but if my man stalks toward me with his love muscle visibly pulsing, I’m frickin’ outta there. Or setting him up as a human carnival ride and making a TON of money.

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of what I suspect is the female counterpart to the glut of pulsing penises—the Fluttering Pussy. And after pausing to pull myself together because the very sight of those words together makes me giggle like a five-year-old, I just shrug and let it go. Because most authors can restrain themselves from using a humdinger like that over and over and over. I mean, something that phenomenal should be reserved for special occasions, right? Sort of like your heirloom china or your best rubber sheets.

Then I read a sub last week that used the magical phrase 34 times. Now, I know it was probably meant in the “throbbing” definition of the word, but still…34 times. I had to make fun, right?

And of course I have to share the fun that resulted from that fun, right?

Right. So for those of you not down with the Twitter, please enjoy the Tweet spawned by this abundance of Fluttering Pussies, along with some of the responses. And authors…you don’t have to choose your adjectives with more care. But you might end up in a post if you don’t. You’ve been warned. *evil grin*

Original Tweet:

@EditMeThis: The book I’m currently reading is chock-full of “fluttering” vajayjays. #fly! #flyawayvajajay

Responses:

@caitmiller: I can see where a vajayjay would flutter…but not so much it’s in danger of taking off.

@DelDryden: LOL Okay I’m picturing like some sort of SF/F horror thing where the fluttering vajayjay is 1st clue she’s an alien. Not good.

@AnnMayburn: I’ve heard of fluttering your eyelashes to get a man’s attention…maybe my flirting techniques have been too subtle.

@Christine_dAbo: I hate it when that happens.

@shainorton: Please tell me they don’t also have butterfly tattoos.

@victoriablisse: I am pretty sure my vajayjay has never fluttered. Unless it was very windy I suppose…

@andrewtshaffer: Flying vajayjays? Say it ain’t so.

@marifreeman: Noooo. Stay, vajayjay. Stay.

@sommer_marsden: Oh look! There goes one! Hand me the net…

@LeighElwood: I need to read this now.

Cave Tales: Assume the Position

by Raelene Gorlinsky

We (the Publishing Department) have a weekly status meeting. Well, it's theoretically about the status of various projects and any issues that have come up during the week, but it tends to go in unexpected directions. We have learned to keep my office door shut during the meeting.

So at a recent meeting we were discussing how editors must watch out for what we call "choreography" problems in scenes. You know, where the author describes Tom sitting down in the chair, then several paragraphs later has him rise from the couch. Or Sue takes off her shoes three times (just how many legs does she have?). Or puts on a t-shirt in the morning, but removes her lacy blouse later on. I have several times conducted a writer workshop on this issue of choreography--always hysterical to watch. But new and interesting situations always arise in books being edited, and sex scenes are the most entertaining to analyse for choreography correctness.

At this particular meeting we discussed a question that had come up recently on a scene in a book--can a woman lick her own nipples? Because I know you're dying to know--yes, some women can. It doesn't depend on the size of her breasts, it is far more dependent on her flexibility. If you want to be sure a reader will believe your character can do this, establish earlier in the story that the woman practices yoga. If she can get into some of those yoga positions, she can get her tongue to her nipples, no matter how flat her chest!

Often an editor has to determine whether some position is humanly impossible or if the problem is with the way the author describes the action. As I teach in my workshop, the best way to test this is to act out the scene exactly as the author wrote it. So after we finished discussing tongues and nipples, editor Meghan brought up a sex scene in a book she was working on. Before you know it... "Jennifer, you lie down on the floor and raise your legs. Jaime, you kneel here and..." Jaime and Jennifer are our Publishing Assistants. When we hired them, we didn't exactly tell them all the duties of the job. Well, the J ladies are both young and slim and flexible--like most romance heroines--and were able to prove that the position could work.

Do you see why we keep the door closed?

TMS

by Raelene Gorlinsky

All the authors around the luncheon table stared at me, mouths agape. "What did you say?"
"There was too much sex in the book."
"Uh, don't you think that's an odd thing for a publisher of erotic romance to say?"

Well no, actually I think I'm one of the people best able to make that statement. I work with erotica and erotic romance stories every day, I recognize what works and what doesn't, what the sex is supposed to be in a story.

The book we were discussing was the latest in my favorite paranormal series (from another publisher, not Ellora's Cave), and was by a bestselling author. The previous stories in the series had a huge amount of sexual tension leading to the climactic act near the end. That building sexual awareness and longing helped define the developing relationship between the hero and heroine, and affected the plot and the behavior of the othere characters. And totally grabbed the reader: "When are they finally going to do it?" But in the latest book, well, the h/h have done the deed, they are now together as a couple, they can have sex whenever and wherever they want. And they do. Too much. Yes, some of the sex scenes worked, they fit the emotions or illustrated the continued growth of the relationship. But several scenes seemed unnecessary--they interrupted the plot, rather than being a part of it.

The book is classified as urban fantasy romance, not erotic romance. Maybe if it were labeled erotic, I'd have been more tolerant--whether we like to admit it or not, erotic romance readers buy the books for the sex, and they want a lot of it. But on second thought, no, I would not have been tolerant. If I were editing this as an erotic romance, the author would be getting back revision notes from me explaining that having lots of sex was great, but the sex needed to more relevant and integrated into the story--so please rethink and rewrite, Madam Author.

Our Author Information brochure (available under Submissions on our website) provides the three elements of our definition of erotic romance. The first item is:

The sexual relationship must be integral to and an important element of the storyline and the character development. Sex scenes should contribute to furthering the plot or affecting the development of the romantic relationship or the growth of the characters.

So have lots and lots of relevant sex--but not Too Much Sex.

The Perils of Purple Prose in Erotica

Ooh, the things one can do with purple prose, euphemisms, and double entendres, especially of the sexual nature! And then throw in some standard outworn romance cliches.  This had us howling and falling off our chairs. Please enjoy--

A Bluff Pirate’s Tale - Semen at Sea
by Katalina Leon

“Ha, ha, ha, I don’t give a heck if yer ah virgin lassie, I’m going to peek in your porthole and force you to ride mi bucking lower deck whether ya like it or not.” Captain Muskysac, the much dreaded handsome bastard pirate of the inky blue undulating ocean, lorded menacingly over his newest captive, conveniently kidnapped on the eve of her wedding, the wistful jewel of his heart since childhood, the beautifully, delicately innocent Miss Ashley Roseheather.

Captain Muskysac insolently puffed his broad chest forward, thrusting his man-nipples three feet apart, kicked his boots astride and stood thusly with his fists firmly planted on his insinuating lean hips and barked. “On your knees lass, I’m going to spoil you!”

“There’s been a slightly awkward miscommunication.” Ashley glanced upward and mumbled softly through rubied rosebud lips. “I’m not a virgin…”

Captain Muskysac frowned. His posture wilted. “What do mean yer not a virgin? I had a whole deflowerment routine of horribly protracted degradation painstakingly planned for you. I was going to win your heart by conquering your frail womanly form and easily shocked sensibilities. I went to a great deal of effort. Manacles were polished, Neverwash Walter is eagerly waiting in the next cabin to shout rude, inappropriate comments and leer over the entire sordid event. I’ll be honest with you, this is quite a bitter little let down.”

“I’m so sorry I’m not a virgin but there nothing to be done about it now. What about a sassy whiskey-voiced, salty-tongued, been abandoned by love but has a heart of gold, hip-swishing sea wench? Could you use one of those? I adore life-jarring forced seductions and humiliating degradation on the high seas.” Ashley’s limpid baby blue eyes bulgingly pleaded. “It’s not too late to have a good time, is it? I’ll just behave flustered and witless and we’ll put the whole embarrassing misunderstanding behind us. You’ll never notice I’m not a virgin. What do you say, my spicy pepperoni—is the party on?”

Captain Muskysac stared dejectedly at the toes of his tall boots. “I don’t know—it's not quite the same. I take pride in my arrogantly aberrant behavior. Menacing maidens is an art form. I’m not really prepared for an experienced woman. I don’t want to just walk through the act half-heartedly.”

“Oh what the hell, I’m starting without you.” Ashley shouted, “Nay, nay dark ruthless master, don’t burst my preciously treasured carefully guarded and saved for sacred marriage maidenhead and ruin my chances for a peaceful, productive life and soak my virgin tight-as-a-kidskin-glove, pouting rosebud, woman’s secret cottage in the glen, quimmy with your steamy hot juices! Spare me, lava hot love god. I beg of you!”

Captain Muskysac’s expression was appalled. “You do realize Neverwash and others can hear you in the next cabin?” He whispered a tense warning.

“I don’t care! Lash me to yer throbbing purple yardarm, Hop’n jack me, Whip the pony, butter the biscuits, take me if you must, grease me with deck-wax, pin me flat and ravish me on your thick commanding masthead. Your mysteriously threatening knobby turgidness compels me to surrender!”

“My turgidness?”

“Yes, your stony, rock hard as iron, straight as a plank of wood, turgidness. Shove it in me, lord of my mattress! For you, my dewy quim is like a fragrant rose shyly opening its delicate silky pink petals to the first fair day of spring sunshine that we call love. My naughty lady slipper pouts, longs, desires, drools and oozes with love nectar waiting for you to take me again and again and again and again…

“All right already!” he announced as he tore at his laces and evacuated his threateningly turgid, inhumanly proportioned, mapped with veins, sweaty, salty manhood from his skintight period-correct breeches and let it thrust in all its twitching glory toward her startled face. “I’m going to slip you the sausage and mash the potatoes. Then I’m going to spill man-gravy all over your plate, and let it all soak in the sink until morning. I doubt you’ll walk upright for a week!”

“Nay, if I ever walk again!” She screamed ridiculously and ducked under the bedcovers. “You’re so massively, hugely big! The sheer girthy width of your tremendously engorged spit–red-hot-rivets-wang-hammer is enough to kill a girl. The impressive volume of your man-tool leaves me humbled, awed yet strangely drawn to the danger-tinged mystery of its wrinkled foreskin. Your balls are big too.” She sighed sweetly.

“So is your plump round bottom, madam! I think I’ll take a brisk palm to task against those firm, proud peaches and paddle a happy tune on your pink drumskins before I lave my tongue between your warm, wet woman folds and send the fire truck to hose down the flames.”

He did and they lived happily ever after. The End.

Katalina Leon writes actually excellent stories for Ellora's Cave. Her editor keeps her purple prose in check. Katalina’s latest erotic romance is Nice Package. You can check out all her releases on her website at http://www.katalinaleon.com/ 

Forcing the Issue

By Kelli Collins

One of my recent tweets:

Rumor 193: EC doesn’t, in fact, “ban” forced seduction novels, nor do we fire editors who accept them.

EC’s no stranger to rumors; some bloggers have nearly built their reputations on EC smack-talk…but that’s another post. Aside from a firm conviction that all these scamps need to look into getting a life, I don’t much care. What’s that saying--as long as they spell your name right? And doubtful though I am about the IQ levels of certain bloggers, I’m fairly confident they can spell E and C.

But on to the latest rumor, one that resurfaces with predictable regularity. Like the cycles of the moon. Or PMS. That which says EC doesn’t allow forced seduction books. That we reprimand and/or fire editors who accept them. That we ban authors who write them, etc.

The truth is simple: Everything above is false.

Our founder, Tina Engler (a.k.a. Jaid Black), has written more than one forced seduction book, some of which are her best sellers. Another EC author, Laurann Dohner, made her EC debut with a wildly popular forced seduction book. And we’ve published many besides.

Have we published hundreds? No. Just as forced seductions books are not for every reader, they’re not for every author. In my experience, it’s the rare author who can write an FS novel that can believably get into the psychology of the phenomenon. And THAT, my friends, is what sells me as an editor. I want to get into the characters’ heads. Why is the hero compelled to make women bend to his will? Why does the heroine like, need and get turned-on by FS. And pay attention to that last part, authors, because whatever else the hero does, ultimately he must make the heroine feel good, and the readers should feel it in spades. After all, no still means no. If that word passes your heroine’s lips, it’s best to listen.

(Note: While I’ve seen the reverse scenario—a heroine forcing her will on the hero—it’s rare. A fact that intrigues me in its own right.)

As for readers, who knows why they love FS stories? A secret desire to give up control, perhaps…a longing to put their complete trust, and their pleasure, in the hands of another. We could speculate for ages, I suspect. What do you think?

Jaid Black's BLOWJOB

At the 2010 Ellora's Cave RomantiCon convention, best-selling author Jaid Black presented a workshop on  writing sexual tension and erotic stories. Remember the acronym "blowjob".

Basis: What is the conflict to start the tension? Why is this happening? What is the underlying foundation, the reason for the story? Start fast with the story, have impact at the beginning.

Libido: Establish that the hero is "larger than life" in all aspects. Building the heroine is even more important; she's the one readers will identify with. Make her real. What is missing that she needs from this hero?

No Orgasm too soon.

Withhold: Build as much sexual tension as you can before the first sex scene. To get the reader hot, you as author should be aroused by what you are writing.

Journey: Take time with the sexual journey, keep it building. You don't have to jump into penetration and orgasm right away, use other types of sexual interaction to advance the intimacy and build sexual arousal.

OMG Moment: The moment before the "moment", holding on right before orgasm, where you (the heroine) can't take it anymore.

Burst: Then go back and do it all again, building up that tension again.

Romance Recipe for Success

One of the reader discussion groups at this year's RomantiCon convention was "Recipe for Success", hosted by authors Fran Lee and Amber Skyze. They solicited reader opinions on "the most important ingredients for a breathtaking, satisfying romance" (with emphasis on erotic romance).

As always, there was wide diversity of opinions, but consistency in basic areas.

The five most important elements in a good romance:

• HEA
• Hot, delicious sex
• Strong romance
• Believable plot/conflict
• Strong, engaging (and enjoyable) characters

Almost all agreed that a relationship was of the utmost importance in a romance. They wanted to see the characters develop strong emotional connections.

Humor was appreciated.

About half stated that sweetly poignant moments were essential to their enjoyment of a novel.

Plots were expected to be unique, not simply makeovers of overused situations and reworked “same-old, same-old”, and have believable world building.

Many stated that the author's voice was important.

Sensual content: Two-thirds of the participants stated that they liked to see a delicious, hot buildup of tension between the H/H. About half stated that instant hot sex was good, but most of these also liked “slow buildup”. The general consensus was that the sex must be hot and intense when it did occur, but that slow and seductive was appreciated as well. Most participants made it clear that the sex must fit the story. No one wanted gratuitous sex just tossed in. The sex had to be part and parcel of the plot, and be steamy. One said “must be breathtaking and memorable”.

Heroes: The overwhelming majority wanted alpha heroes who were strong and tough. Roughly half added “flawed” and “bad boy”. A few added “tortured” or “smart”.

Heroines: Saucy and sexy. About half liked heroines who exhibited tomboy tendencies, were wicked, strong, and/or flawed. About one-fourth liked their heroines to be ultra-feminine. A few participants added “smart”, “smart and independent”, “witty…keeps hero on his toes” and “tortured”.

Genres: When presented with a list and asked to indicate all their preferences, almost all marked Contemporary. Over half also chose Paranormal, Vampire, Shifter, historical, BDSM, Erotic, GLBT, Cougar, Ménage, or “all of the above”. Erotic, Cougar, and Ménage were most notably chosen. Sci-fi/fantasy was included in about one-third of the responses.

Book length: A majority of participants preferred novellas or short novels, but about half said they also enjoyed full length novels.

When asked what made the participant re-read the same book over, most responded that they liked to go back and re-read the good parts, memorable sex scenes, or the hilariously funny parts. They liked to re-read the places where the characters began to build their relationships, and a good percentage liked to go back to the scenes that really “touched” them.

One person stated that she found that each new reading revealed even more than she had found in the prior reading. One person stated that she almost never re-read a book, but that she does search for more by the same author if she liked the book.

As Fran said afterwards, "The responses were gratifying in that every single participant reinforced our impression of the deep sense of individuality in our readers. We found that our readers (and the participating reviewers and authors) are discerning and share a taste for high-quality books that leave them emotionally moved. Not willing to sit back and simply accept what is offered out there, they were most willing to step up and tell us what they wanted."

RomantiCon 2009: LGBTQ Panel

by Meghan Conrad

The LGBTQ reader panel at RomantiCon 2009 was very well attended--way more than forty people, and we ended up with standing room only. (My thanks--and apologies--to those of you who ended up standing or sitting on the floor.) Most of the people there were already fans of M/M romance, and we had a fantastic participation rate--I think that most of the participants ended up saying something at some point, and we had quite a few shows of hands that polled everyone.

What readers don’t like:

• Twinks (Slim, boyish men, generally without body hair, often seen as rather shallow and self-absorbed.)
  
• Subby men (Men who are excessively submissive--readers were quite clear that they'd like their men to be, if not alpha males, at least able to occasionally stand up to an alpha male.)
  
• Flamers—the characters should read like men, not like women with a biological strap-on.
  
• Overly emotional men—weepiness and florid declarations of love don’t go over well.
  
• Books that are effectively an M/F story with an M/F dynamic, only the part of the F happens to be played by a man.
  
• Books that have “OMG, I’m gay!” as the plot.
  
• M/M without penetration. (Readers commented that lack of penetration in an M/M makes them feel like they’ve been misled or ripped off.)
  
• Demonizing women to make it more understandable that the men are interested in each other.
  
• Scenes with a woman in an otherwise M/M book.

What readers like:

• Less dominant partners who are still strong and masculine.
  
• Pushy bottoms
  
• Topping from the bottom.
  
• “Gay for you” stories—stories in which one or both characters don’t necessarily identify as gay, but feel that they’ve found their perfect match in this person, who happens to be of the same gender.
  
• A different sexual dynamic to M/M than you’d find in an M/F story—rougher and cruder.
  
• Rimming
  
• Fewer stereotypes—enough gay photographers, artists, and other sensitive types. They’d like to see some gay sports players, cops, and construction workers.
  
• Fluid sexuality
  
• Equality between partners in F/F books
  
• Strong emotional ties between characters—books that are more than just sex.

What readers would like to see more of:

• Straight men crossdressing
  
• Drag performers
  
• More emotional build to F/F stories--while most readers had no problem believing that two men would just fall into bed, they'd like to have a slower, more emotional connection between two women.

Bang That Wall

by Raelene Gorlinsky

The second half of our RomantiCon workshop on Taboos in Romances was about what readers consider unacceptable elements in erotic romance novels. Thirty-five erotic romance fans gave us their opinions.

Kill That Character

There were very strong and vocal opinions on what was always and ever irredeemable in a hero or heroine, whether in current actions or in past: rape, pedophilia, child or spouse abuse, or animal cruelty/torture. These were viewed as permanent "he needs killin'" characteristics, not something that a person can correct or be "cured" of or ever redeem themselves from.

Having committed murder in the past was iffy - was there some justification, a reason the reader could empathize with? And importantly, did the character feel remorse, work toward redemption, and show emotional growth? This "wounded hero" (or heroine) has to be believably developed and well-written, but can make a compelling story.

Some story elements that were verboten in past are more acceptable now and are showing up in stories. Two mentioned were abortion, and prostitution in the heroine's past. Again, it depended on the character's motivation and attitude and circumstances.

Incestuous relationships: I was rather surprised at the universal agreement that any blood relationship up through and including first cousins was incest (considering that first-cousin marriage is legal in some states). Step siblings who had met when young was clearly incest in all eyes, even if the romantic/sexual relationship did not start until they were adults. It was fine for most readers in stories where the hero/heroine did not meet until they were both independent adults.

Wallbangers: "I stopped reading immediately and threw the book in the trash." And, in some cases, "I'll never buy another book by that author."

Ick, Ick: Toilet play (scat, urine).

Fisting or footing, except in clearly labeled BDSM or kink stories.

"Oh, daddy" - Incest, implied incest, incest play, characters who get turned on by imagining sex with a parent or parent substitute. Heroines who display any interest in their father's sexuality or compare other men sexually or physically to their father.

Heavenly HEA - The h/h die (either at the same time, or one now and one many years later) and their happily-ever-after occurs when they meet in the afterlife. Everyone wanted the relationship to be resolved in "real life".

Doormats - The heroine who's a total weeping wimp. Also the heroine who gets her only value from the hero, rather than developing her own self-esteem and competence.

One of the milder no-nos, but pointed out as a flawed or weak plot: Inserting a big age difference between hero/heroine when there is no reason for it.

Terrible research - Very noticeable errors in facts: history, science and natural science, national or cultural attributes (especially perpetuating offensive stereotypes and inaccurate generalities).

Too much use of coincidences or forced circumstances to make the action go where the author wants it to go - Would the character really act like or say that, how often would that really happen?

Too much descriptive "tell" instead of "showing" the reader.

The Language of Lust

by Raelene Gorlinsky

Gather thirty-five women, all fanatical readers of erotic romance, and ask them about "the words". That's what we did in a workshop at last year's RomantiCon convention. We asked what sex-related terms turned them on or off. Of course there was no unanimous vote - everyone's preferences differed. But here are the things that were very consistent.

Talking about HIM (yes, that part of him): Cock, penis and erection were preferred (and are what is most common in books). Dick, his sex, balls, sac were all fine with most. The women generally said that they felt a female character would not refer to a man's testicles as his nuts, but that male characters could realistically do so. No silly or "fruit" terms for the penis, nothing that sounded like teenage boys.

Talking about HER (up top): "Why not just call them breasts?" was the general consensus. But tits was okay with many of the women, as long as not used in a nasty or derogatory manner. They thought female characters could use fun terms like "the girls" or "the twins", but that it wasn't believable to have men say that. (We've all been influenced by the TV show What Not To Wear, I guess.) Definite NO on jugs, boobies, bubbies.

And down there on HER: The group was divided on cunt, although it seems to have become much more acceptable than it was five or ten years ago, possibly because it is used more in erotic romances now and everyone's gotten used to it. (As a description of the female genitals - it was NOT acceptable, was considered a nasty insult, if used to refer to a woman herself.) Pussy was fine. In historicals, quim or cunny (but everyone was clear that those would sound really odd and fake in a contemporary story). No one liked the abbreviation "vaj"; most were fine with just vagina, although a few commented that it could come across as sounding too clinical and cold. Va-jay-jay or any other silly words like that were generally put down. Absolute no-nos were hole or gaping hole. Several mentioned that hole was fine when referring to anal sex, but not to the vagina.

What comes out of the vagina when a woman is aroused? Cream or honey! "Squirt" was an icky word to everyone, when applied to either the woman's or man's act of emission.

And the act of sex itself? Hey, very few seemed to have any problem with good old fucking. Of course, making love was pointed out as far more romantic, but not always applicable to the scene or characters.

Then we got onto terms of endearment.

Almost everyone in the room said they had a strong ICK reaction to a woman calling her love interest or sex partner "Daddy"; it turned them right off the story. And a number of the women didn't like the man calling the woman "babydoll".

So what should she call him? "His name!" shouted everyone - it really is romantic to purr your man's name to him. The old standards were acceptable: babe, baby, honey, sweetheart, darling, love. For historicals, sweeting or dearling are commonly accepted.

For male/male relationships, these women didn't care for the men calling each other baby or love.

Someone brought up the term "cougar" to refer to an older, experienced woman who is looking for a much younger lover. It used to be considered negative by some, but seems more acceptable and common now, not so predatory.

Next up: What these readers had to say about unacceptable topics in romance, irredeemable characteristics of a character, what elements make a book a wallbanger.

Linda Howard on Writing Sex

Author Terry Odell recaps (in three parts) a presentation by Linda Howard about portraying sex and sexual intimacy in novels. It is well worth reading. Ms. Howard is a fan of anthropologist Desmond Morris' theories about how our sexual behavior developed to ensure species survival. Not just mating for procreation, but picking a mate, bonding to hold onto that mate, developing a family unit to raise children. Ms. Howard's heroes are built on this mold, and are wildly popular with readers because of it.

Survival: It's All About Sex
http://terryodell.blogspot.com/2010/06/survival-its-all-about-sex.html

It's Still About the Sex:
http://terryodell.blogspot.com/2010/06/its-still-about-sex.html

Men Aren't Women With Chest Hair:
http://terryodell.blogspot.com/2010/06/men-arent-women-with-chest-hair.html

And the well-known 12 Steps to Intimacy from Desmond Morris' "Intimate Behavior: A Zoologist's Classic Study of Human Intimacy":
http://terryodell.blogspot.com/2010/03/12-steps-to-intimacy.html

Some classic Howard comments you have to enjoy:

Sex and guns are powerful—handle both with care.

Babies are bald, toothless and incontinent, but their mothers still love them. Which should be encouraging to the husbands.

Women write detail in sex scenes, while men write detail in action scenes. Her first draft of an action scene might be "He was shot. It hurt. He shot back. The other guy died."

So go check out the articles on Terry's Place!

What Readers Want: BDSM

by Meghan Conrad

I ran the reader panel on BDSM at EC's RomantiCon 2009. The room was packed—we filled up quickly, brought in more chairs, and even then had people standing.

What Readers Dislike

• Overly submissive heroines, especially ones who seem to need constant reassurance. Readers wanted the heroine to have a sense of self-worth without the constant praise of her master.
  
• Overly controlling heroes/doms. The sub shouldn’t have to ask permission for everything—permission to go to the bathroom was mentioned by several people as a particular squick.
  
• Humiliation for the sake of humiliation. Lifestyle humiliation is difficult for readers to buy into and, they said, pulls them out of the fantasy.
  
• Doms who are very into degrading their subs. It seemed fine when it happened once in a while, but when it became a steady part of the relationship dynamic, readers were turned off.
  
• Doms who cross boundaries they've specifically been asked not to cross.
  
• Scenes with a ton of equipment, or scenes that require a diagram to figure out what’s where and who’s tied up with what.
  
• Wham, bam, thank you ma’am sex—it needs to be clear that this is a relationship outside of the sexual relationship. Readers don’t find it believable when characters meet and jump right into heavy BDSM in the first scene.
  
• “Young” characters—characters who don’t have the emotional, social, or intellectual development that you’d expect from an adult. Incredibly naïve heroines were mentioned specifically, as were characters who are so fucked up from previous hurts that they’re emotionally crippled.
  
• Treating subs as animals (keeping them in a cage, for instance, or leashing them) was up there with bestiality on the list of do not want. Pet play was also mentioned repeatedly as a squick.
  
• When the use of a safeword ends the scene or, worse, the relationship. Readers were quite adament that the safeword should end the act currently in progress, nothing else.

What Readers Like

• Giving and caring male doms who are more about providing pleasure than punishment.
  
• An exploration of the character’s motivations—why they’re into this lifestyle.
  
• Showing the strength in submission
  
• Use of non-specialized equipment: headboards, ropes, and handcuffs instead of St. Andrew’s crosses and bondage chairs.
  
• Exploring the trust between the hero and heroine, making it clear that the trust has been earned, not just handed over.
  
• Safewords were preferred by the vast majority, with readers commenting that the use of a safeword shows that the dom really cares for the sub.
  
• Characters with full, interesting lives who have personalities and goals that are unrelated to their BDSM lifestyle. Being into BDSM should be one trait among many, and shouldn’t be the primary characteristic of the character.

Things Readers Want More Of

• Fem dom was a surprisingly common request—well over half of the room said that this was on their wishlist.
  
• Submissive alpha males
  
• Thinky reads
  
• More characterization
  
• A closer look at the characters’ headspace. Readers commented that they like to spend scenes deep in someone’s head focusing on how that character feels, both emotionally and physically, and how they react; that detailed descriptions of sexual apparatus and what people are doing are less interesting to them than the emotional components of the scene.

Survey Says...

article contributed by author Cara McKenna

I recently invited people to take a What Erotica Readers Want survey. The nearly seventy participants came via my erotic authors’ group blog, my website and Twitter, so the pool is more a focus group of erotica fans who patronize mainstream publishers such as Ellora’s Cave than a true representation of all people everywhere.

Percentages have been rounded to the nearest integer.

Gender. Respondents were 88% women, 9% men and 3% transgender.

Age. The largest group fell in the 30–39 range, making up 36% of the pool. The next largest groups were 40–49 (26%) and 20–29 (22%). 14% of respondents were 50–64 and only 2% were 19 or younger. We had no responses from readers 65 or older.

Voracity. The largest group reads roughly one erotic story per week. That said, 16% of our participants read 15 erotic stories or more per month—you insatiable perverts, you!

Formats and vendors. Nearly everyone polled reads digital erotica, with only 9% reading print exclusively. Most read a mix of the two, and 16% read digital only. The vast majority of readers get their erotica from traditional bookstores, online bookstores and direct from publishers' sites. Other sources of note are libraries, fan fiction sites, and erotic blogs and websites. None of our anonymous respondents claimed to get their erotica from pirate sites. Big, sloppy kisses from all us starving authors!

Length. Participants enjoy erotica of all lengths, though novels and novellas were most popular (46% and 35% respectively). 13% preferred short-story length and 6% preferred super-short (i.e., EC's Naughty Nooners or fan fiction / blog posts).

Character gender mix. The majority of our repondents were women and unsurprisingly, most want a man in their story. He can be one-half of a hetero couple or an m/m couple, or part of an f/m/m+ menage. Nearly two-thirds of pollees are indifferent to or turned-off by women-only erotica. Even more would pass on m/f/f menage.

What we're into reading. The meat of the survey—get your gravy! I’ve broken these data into three sections: safe themes, super-popular themes, and least-popular themes. Readers rated a bunch of items using five options: love, like, no opinion, dislike, and hate. That said, this is just for fun and I don’t encourage authors to chase trends—write what you love.

You're probably safe writing:
• Historical settings
• Full-on BDSM (D/s, bondage, etc.)
• Male Dom / alpha hero
• Sci-fi / futuristic settings
• 10+ year age difference, either gender
• Virginity loss
• Anal play
• Voyeurism or exhibitionism
• "Cheating" with permission / cuckolding
• Consensual rape role-play (contentious—12% love it, 13% hate it)
• Sex as rite / ritual
• Plus-sized protagonist
• Interracial lovers
• Kinky piercings / body modification
• Orgies (5+ participants)
• Food play
• Larger-than-average wangs (size kinda matters)

If you really want to thrill readers, take notes:
• 96% like or love light bondage
• 95% like / love contemporary settings
• 89% like / love oral sex performed on a man
• 87% like / love male-on-male action
• 83% like / love oral sex performed on a woman
• 82% like / love humor
• 81% like / love a suspense plot
• 79% like / love paranormal stories
• 77% like / love a happily-ever-after ending
• 77% like / love sex toys
• 77% like / love menage (3–4 participants)
• 73% like / love spanking
• 71% like / love outdoor sex

If you're aiming to alienate:
• 39% dislike or hate a sexually Dominant female character
• 35% dislike or hate female-on-female action

Verboten topics. I also asked what topics readers don’t like mentioned, even in passing. Here they are, along with the percentage who say they kill their buzz:
• 71% Sexually transmitted diseases / infections
• 54% Abortion
• 46% Religion / morality
• 44% Recreational drug use (excluding alcohol)
• 33% Serious illness or death
• 27% Politics
• 25% Rape or sexual abuse in protagonist's past
• 23% Children or parenthood
• 23% Infertility or erectile dysfunction
• 21% Tobacco use
• 19% Conception or pregnancy
• 6% Birth control

How we judge our books. I was surprised to find we do judge them by their covers! Nearly 60% of respondents said a nice cover is reasonably important, though they also care about the theme or blurb. 19% say a nice cover is merely a bonus, 14% say the cover is the most important thing when choosing a book, and only 12% said they choose books totally regardless of their covers. 8% chose the non-applicable option, reading their erotica in a cover-less form such as fan-fic sites.

Thanks again to everyone who participated.

Cara McKenna writes erotica for Ellora’s Cave. You can visit her at www.caramckenna.com. For a more detailed analysis of the survey results, visit http://naughtyauthorchicks.blogspot.com/2010/04/survey-says.html.

New Lines at EC!

by Raelene Gorlinsky

Boy, sometimes we are just so busy here that we can't find a spare minute to blog. But we're busy for a reason - lots of new and exciting stuff going on. So let us tell you about one of those projects. EC is opening two new lines (genres) of erotic romance, aimed at specific niche markets. We are open to submissions immediately. To submit, please read the Author Information brochure available on our website at http://www.jasminejade.com/t-writerscircle.aspx .

GEN-EDGE

Audience: 18- to 25-year-old modern women who would enjoy reading sexually explicit erotic romance stories about heroines with whom they can identify.

Tone and Style: The books will have a strong narrative voice. Dialogue and narrative will be very reflective of the target audience’s world.

Heroine: Must be in the 18-25 range, with behavior and attitude to match. The heroine should reflect the lifestyles and values of today's modern young woman.

Hero: The hero doesn't have to fit into the same age range. He may indeed be of age similar to the heroine, part of her peer group. But we would also accept stories of young women involved with older men.

Character Traits: Heroines are more sexually aggressive and less worried about what people think of them. Sexual fluidity (manifesting in various ways—metrosexual men, bisexual heroes/heroines, acceptance of GLBT culture, lesbian flirtation) is more common, almost expected.

Younger characters tend to be politically aware, socially liberal, and accepting of differences. Their job is probably just a job, not a major commitment or the most important thing in their life. Career paths aren't part of their life plans yet. Self-employment and entrepreneurship may be their goals.

Technology is a big part of their lives—cell phones, laptops, everything online.
The language should be current and characters will have very casual speech patterns, often sarcastic.

BRANDED

Audience: This line is for women of any age who would, or perhaps already do, enjoy EC Romantica®, but who may feel guilty about that enjoyment because of a conflict with their personal belief that sex should not occur before or outside of marriage.

Setting: The culture must involve a legal and binding public commitment ceremony between the two people that includes the intent of permanence (“’til death do us part”) and monogamy.

Sexual Content: These are indeed erotic—but the actual sex does not occur until after marriage. The stories should be the same graphic level of sexual description and sexual language as EC’s existing lines. The only difference from other lines is that the relationship must be monogamous and heterosexual, and penetrative sex cannot occur until after marriage. Before marriage, there should be a strong focus on the buildup of sexual tension; heavy petting, even leading to orgasm, is fine. The stories can include most of our other sexual elements—after marriage, anything goes!

It could be the heroine, hero, or both who have a personal belief in no sex before marriage. The character’s personal belief may be based on various factors, might include because it is a part of their religion with which they agree. But these are not religious stories; the character motivations or actions don’t focus on religion. The decision to wait for sex is a personal choice of the characters and should in no way imply a judgment that other people are wrong or "bad" for making different choices.

The characters do not have to be virgins, although it is fine if one or both are. But it also works if there were prior marriages, previous sexual experience, even previous sexual promiscuity. That could, in fact, play into the woman's or man's desire to now wait on the sex until after a legal commitment.

I Am Woman

by Raelene Gorlinsky

Okay, Kelli's got that dang "It's Raining Men" song playing over and over in my brain. So I'll try to supplant it with another tune, today's topic.

We women generally like other women, right? We've had BFFs since we went to kindergarten. There's so much we can talk about with our female friends that we would never say to a man. Most women say they are more comfortable amongst a group of other women than in a mixed group or a group of men.

So why aren't female-on-female romances more popular with women? Yeah, f/f movies (okay, porn) are really popular with men, they apparently love to watch women together just the way heterosexual women readers have made male/male romances such a hot trend in the past few years. But based on sales figures at romance and erotic romance publishers (I don't know about sales at GLBT specialty publishers), those same mainstream women don't buy many f/f romance books. Or even menages of two women and one man, rather than the incredibly popular two-men-one-woman.

A couple of theories are kicked around. Women love the fantasy of being pleasured by two men, but don't see the fun in having to share a man with another woman. Or women don't want the "competition", the comparison to another woman. Most of us already have insecurities about our bodies, our appearance--would we really want a sexual situation where we are compared to another woman, even if she's a lover or friend? Or, worse, by the man in a trio?

But on the other hand--who better to know how to make a woman's body feel pleasure than someone with the same body parts? Would another woman be a more empathetic or understanding or supportive lover because she knows what works best on her own body and emotions, and therefore on her female lover's? Or does the whole idea of sexually touching and being touched by another woman leave you cold?

We're starting to see a few more female-on-female or two-women-one-man menage erotic romances coming out from e-publishers. Ellora's Cave has released some in past, without much sales success, but we have now decided to give it another try. We are actively soliciting erotic romances with female/female content.

But to acquire books that readers want to buy, we need to know what you want to read. So tell us. What turns you on or turns you off in female/female romances--both in the sex scenes and the romantic relationship aspect? Would you read f/f or f/f/m or f/m/f? And of course, the important part--why or why not?

And for those of you wearing an author hat--what are the challenges or difficulties or rewards of writing such stories? Are you at all interested in doing so? How would you research it? Do you think it would attract heterosexual female readers, or only bisexual or lesbian readers?

So...are you interested in such stories? Would you vote with your book-buying dollars?

It's Raining Men

by Kelli Collins

The recent post on a popular social blog (you may know the one) about a certain e-pub’s love for publishing M/M generated tons of responses. More than 130, last time I checked. Aside from the occasional attack, there were also dozens of thoughtful and insightful posts on the M/M and M/M/F genres in general. A few authors and readers mentioned their dislike for the genres, but in no great detail. As interesting as all of this was (and how), I want to know a bit more—specifically, why hetero female readers/writers, in the immortal words of Depeche Mode, just can’t get enough.

What precisely attracts you to M/M? “It’s hot!” doesn’t cut it for me. Why exactly is it hot? I’m not complaining or judging, and while it's not my favorite genre, I don't hate it, by any stretch of the word. Though the genre’s thoroughly saturated the market, it still sells consistently well, so I’ll happily continue editing it. And I should be clear that my curiosity has nothing to do with M/M submissions, and won't change how I review them.

I just truly want to understand the psychology behind a straight fan's love of gay erotica...or at least toss some theories around. Because let’s be honest with ourselves—this is not gay erotica. Not really. At least, not according to my gay male friends, anyway. (The ones who've read some EC M/M. They can appreciate the story, but thought the romantic elements in no way reflected the relationships they've been in). I've also noticed no similarities to the gay erotic fiction I’ve read that’s written by gay males. (Anthologies, mostly. The writing? Sometimes "meh". The sex? Damn hot.)

For the most part (note those words!), M/M as the erotic romance community knows it features hardcore-hetero alpha males who just happen to be having sex with each other. Take any of those men, stick them in a het book with some hot blonde chick and he won’t change a bit, beyond the fact he’s now rogering the opposite sex. Presumably the lack of reality doesn’t bother readers. No surprise there; who wants reality in their erotic romance anyway?

So what is it? The mere thought of two otherwise-straight males having sex? I've edited my fair share, and I can recognize and appreciate a sexy, vivid, emotionally riveting M/M scene…but I can’t claim to understand the fascination for readers, at least not enough to justify the meteoric rise of the genre over the last few years. I mean, I don’t want to watch my gay friends getting busy with their partners.

And if straight women are attracted by the idea of two men having sex...why haven't F/F or F/F/M or F/M/F been shown the same love? But that's another post...watch for it on Friday.

Let's Talk About Sex (Scenes)

by Meghan Conrad

Let's face it, guys: writing sex scenes is hard. I'd go so far as to say that for many people, sex scenes are the most difficult type of scene to write. Part of that is a sex scene is first and foremost an action scene, so you have to be aware of the timing and choreography the same way you would if you're writing a climactic scene in a thriller. To complicate things further, while the thriller writers have nearly infinite options for how their scene plays out, you guys have one, since obviously your scene ends in orgasm. And, just for good measure, the thiller writers have a wide assortment of guns, explosives and other incendiaries while you guys get about half a dozen words for genitalia. Ouch. Is it any wonder that so many people hate writing sex scenes?

So what can you do to make your sex scenes stand out? It's twofold.

Treat your sex scene like an action scene. Block out the choreography, making sure that everything you mention is possible. Keep an eye on where hands and arms are, making sure that you don't end up giving your hero three (or more!) hands. Make sure that the scene flows in a logical manner--does her bra somehow come off before her shirt? Do his pants come off twice?

Sometimes, even when the sex is fairly clear, I find that I need to chart things out. I'll make a flowchart, detailing exactly what happens when. Once it's written, I go back and list off all movements so I can look at them without being distracted by the story. This can be really useful, especially if you use sticky notes. If you decide that the scene needs revision, you can play musical notes until you have something that works.

Once you know what's happening when in your sex scene, you can start wondering how you're going to describe it. One of the biggest problems for sex scenes is that it's so easy for them to become repetitive or mechanical--the same words or actions are used over and over, in book after book.

Some authors try to avoid this by using euphemisms whenever possible. "His throbbing trouser snake nudged against her labia, then slipped into her wet grotto." Ew. Especially in erotic romace, euphemisms are a bad idea. We might be able to skim past a few, but multiple euphemisms will trip up the reader--not only do we get sucked out of the story to wonder why you made that particular comparison (how is his penis like a ferret, again?) but repeated use of euphemisms makes your hero and heroine seem immature. If you can't say penis, should you really be having sex?

You also want to avoid Tab-A Slot-B sex scenes, scenes where the hero and heroine are clearly supposed to have sex, so they do. This is maybe the most common problem I see in submissions. The story's fine, the story's okay...and then suddenly the hero and heroine have sex, realize they're in love, and go off to live happily ever. All well and good, and there's certainly never wrong with sex + love + HEA, but you have to support that in your writing. There's more to writing sex scenes than just the physical aspect of it, and if you miss the underlying connection, you might as well not have the sex scene in at all.

It's not enough to tell your reader that the hero put his long, hard cock into the heroine's eager cunt. They need to know what it felt like, physically and emotionally. The emotional aspects are almost more important than the physical aspects, to be honest. These sex scenes are supposed to actively contribute to the development of the relationship, and you need to show us that. Tell us how the characters feel, what they're thinking. Give us more to think about than how big his cock is--tell us how satisfying it is, how he knows how to use it, how it makes her heart skip a beat.

When writing a sex scene, do:

• Pay attention to the emotional as well as the physical aspects.
  
• Utilize all of the character's senses. How does it smell? What does the other person taste like?
  
• Use charts and careful rereading to make sure that no one develops a third arm mid-coitus.
  
• Remember that with strongly emotional writing, a plan-vanillia, missionary-position sex scene can be every bit as sexy and arousing as a menage a trois with double penetration and light BDSM.
  
• Show us, don't tell us--saying "his long, hard cock was supremely satisfying" isn't anywhere near as evocative as telling us about how she was desperate for his cock, how she loved the sensation.

When writing a sex scene, don't:

• Act like you're afraid to use graphic words. This isn't second grade, and saying penis isn't going to get you benched for recess.
  
• Get so caught up in making the sex as extreme as possible that you lose sight of the story.
  
• Forget why they're having sex in the first place--presumably it's more than just being in the same place at the same time. It's because they find the other person attractive, or because they're falling in love, or because they were both lonely. Don't cheapen the relationship in the name of sex.

Daddy Issues

By Kelli Collins

After years of editing Romantica™, I’ve seen some things. Been around the block a time or two. Had to research things I never even suspected I’d want to know—learning a whole helluva lot about myself in the process. (Turns out I might be rather pervy, by some people’s standards. Who’da thought? You’ve gotta watch those “good” Midwestern Catholic girls.) The point is, not much bothers me. You’ve got your things, I’ve got mine, and so long as we’re mutually respectful and not bashing people over the heads with our ideals, I’m good. I now know enough about my own quirks that I try super hard not to judge.

However, I do wonder. Oh boy, how I wonder…

My latest cogitation? Author dedications.

I’ve seen books dedicated to husbands, wives and assorted significant others; to critique partners, proofreaders, writing groups and RWA chapters; agents, other authors and that friendly police officer who patiently explained the differences between every gun known to man. Even had a few dedicated to myself (thanks, guys; checks are in the mail, I swear).

That’s all fine and dandy. But the books that make me wonder are those dedicated to fathers. Erotica books, mind you.

Now, I’ve shown my father due appreciation in many ways. Cards, gifts, toasts, etc. But I don’t know how I’d feel dedicating an erotic novel to dear old Dad. On one hand, it could be a heartfelt gesture for a man who’s supported and applauded his daughter throughout her life. On the other…slightly shuddersome maybe? Part of me says it’s a touching nod to a daughter’s first “hero”. Another part says, um…Freudian much?

Then there are those erotica books dedicated to kids… But that’s another post.

Anyway, I am truly 100% on the fence here. Completely torn. And oddly, I have no such intellectual uncertainty kicking for erotica dedicated to moms. Is it because she’s a woman? Am I sexist?! (Note to therapist…)

A quick poll amongst friends and colleagues indicates I'm the only one spending time pondering this particular issue. So if I come to any solid conclusions, I'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, I'll just keep editing. And wondering.

Hermaphroditic Heroes

by Raelene Gorlinsky

I am stunned by the number of romance heroes who possess both male and female "parts". They've got two pairs of nipples, one for each gender. Two sets of lips. And four arms and a multitude of fingers.

How else would you interpret descriptions of our hero that refer to his male nipples--this must be to differentiate them from his female ones, right? His manly arms hold the heroine while his masculine fingers stroke her body and his male lips seduce her. So what are his female arms, etc, doing? Just hanging there? Or maybe waiting for another guy to join the fun so they can have a turn too?

If you are talking about a male character, believe me, we know his body parts are male. Cut out the unnecessary words. (Well, okay, if he's an alien or a weird paranormal creature, then you might have to be more specific.)

This isn't to say that you should never use such descriptors. Sometimes it is appropriate or accurate to differentiate, to draw a contrast between a feminine and masculine characteristic. A "masculine chin" describes a square, strong chin--and could be used in reference to either a man's or woman's face. Not all men are broad shouldered, so we all understand that "masculine breadth of shoulder" means wide shoulders. "Male scent" can be an allusion to the scent of sex, of pheromones, or even just to differentiate a "clean masculine scent" from the smell of cologne.

But please, never, ever write "his male penis". Not unless he's also got a female one.

Have you seen a description like this that left you laughing or groaning?

The Misplaced Maidenhead

by Raelene Gorlinsky

It's not just our romance heroes who sometimes have a bit of a reality problem with their genitalia. (See "Every Dick Has It's Day" blog post.) A lot of heroines have a part of their pussy that's in the wrong place. And behaves oddly.

We all know the scene:

Corwyndonus of the Cleaving Cock soothed his innocent young bride. "Do not fear, my dear. 'Twill hurt only this first time, and for but a few moments. I promise to be gentle." He then positioned his mighty staff at her virginal entrance. Slowly, slowly he entered her; inch by inch. When but halfway to his goal, he felt the brave barrier that resisted his masculine invasion. "Best I be quick," he murmured to Shy Sheilandra. Drawing almost fully out, with but the head of his massive organ still within her, he then thrust mightily to demolish the gate of her keep, burying himself to the hilt. Sheilandra screamed shrilly, beating on his shoulders with her dainty fists and sobbing with agony. "Shush, my dearling, the deed is done," Corwyndonus soothed her.

Later, as she lay exhausted on the bed, he gazed with masculine pride at the blood dripping from the sheets to the stone floor--proof of his virility and her virginity.

Ahem. Let's lead the charge in eradicating this ridiculous romance novel cliche. The fact is, the hymen is part of the external female genitalia. It is a thin, flexible membrane partially covering the opening of the vagina. Over half of women feel no pain and have no bleeding when the hymen is ruptured--which can happen during various types of physical activities, not just sex.

So the hero does not get several inches in and then burst through some barrier. He most likely doesn't feel the hymen at all, his penis slides right past it when he starts penetration. And the poor virgin (well, no longer virgin) heroine is not going to have to lie on blood-drenched sheets --at most a few spots, if anything. Except, of course, for the "wet spot"--but that's his fault, not hers, and anyway, why wasn't he wearing a condom?

From Wikipedia (yes, I know, not always the most reliable source, but a place to find basic facts):
"The hymen is a fold of mucous membrane which surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. It forms part of the vulva, or external genitalia. [...] It is not possible to confirm that a woman is a virgin by examining her hymen.
[...]
"In the normal course of life the hymenal opening can also be enlarged by tampon use, pelvic examinations with a speculum, regular physical activity or sexual intercourse. Once a girl reaches puberty the hymen tends to become so elastic that it is not possible to determine whether a woman uses tampons or not by examining a hymen. In one survey only 43% of women reported bleeding the first time they had sex."

[Yes, there are rare women who have a medical condition of an imperforate hymen (no opening). But that has to be dealt with surgically at puberty, to allow menstrual blood to leave the body. ]

If you are woefully unaware of the parts of the vulva, see the pictures at http://www.healthystrokes.com/hymengallery.html

So please, no more of those anatomically impossible deflowerings. But we'd all love to hear the most dramatically overdone such scene you've read.