Friday, October 2, 2009

"It's All Jade Lee's Fault"

by Raelene Gorlinsky

I had to promise the tableful of writers to blame it on Jade. She'd made the mistake of dragging me over to them and then leaving, so they decided she should take the fall.

Ever wonder what really goes on at writer conferences? The stuff that's not on the official program, the things that aren't those serious workshops about craft and professionalism and the business of writing? I'm at the Moonlight & Magnolias conference, put on by the Georgia Romance Writers. My first time here, a great conference! But I don't think the conference organizers planned on some of the "events". It's those casual discussions and at-the-table roundtables that are the most fun.

What happens when you've got a group of authors who've had, oh, maybe just a tad too much wine with dinner, and they decide to draft a story proposal? And there's a Harlequin editor and me, from Ellora's Cave, in the room -- and they want to come up with something they could pitch to either of us.

Okay, without further ado:
The Sheik and the Skank by Seressia Glass, Anna Steffl, J. Perry Stone, Jade Lee & Ana Aragon. An erotic comedy. (No bestiality, despite the camel.)

She is her own goodwill ambassador. From trailer to tent. She travels through life looking for a hop, a skip and a hump.

She's not the only one with big hair.

He knows how to rock the casbah. His first words to her were "Get off or you'll get fleas."

The camel wasn't the only thing humped.

There was only one thing that can come between an Arab and his camel and it was the skank from New Jersey. He always wanted a little coucous.

Honest to god, they actually wrote this down and gave me permission to post it here. I'm waiting to see what happens when the wine wears off. But meanwhile, stay tuned for tomorrow's post of these authors discussing "one click too far"--what happens when you are doing online, ahem, "research" for your sex scenes and you keep looking a little further.

14 comments:

Ann Bruce said...

Oh, dear lord. Now I have to scrap my current proposal lest I be accused of plagiarism.

EilisFlynn said...

The tragedy of alcohol!

Jade Lee said...

Holy crap...I didn't think she'd really POST that!

Lynne Connolly said...

Was Cathy Maxwell there?
Not that she'd do anything like that, of course, but thinking back to RT...

anny cook said...

Hope they don't forget to add the sandstorm, the love scene atop one of those Arabian horses, and a scene at the tiny oasis...

wv: naking

Kim said...

LMAO! Okay, knowing Jade Lee and J Perry Stone extremely well; I can totally hear this discussion. ha!

I hope you're buying this future best seller ;)

Seressia said...

Wait! You forgot about the case of sand crabs!

ECPI Editors said...

Oh damn, Seressia, I missed the sand crabs scene! But I do recall all the discussion about the heroine's tight jeans and camel toe.

And of course I posted it, Jade. Everyone was hoping for a bidding war between Harlequin and EC for this story. ;-)

Raelene

Ms Snarky Pants said...

ROFLMAO @ camel toe

That title is priceless!

Lilith des Cavernes said...

Hmmmm so this is how professionals relax and have a good time? LOL

J Perry Stone said...

How could you not think she'd post this, Jade? A woman who wears such dramatic, fabulous hats will surely do as she threatens.

Seressia, the pictures you've burned in my mind ...

Jade Lee said...

I stand corrected. OF COURSE it would be posted! It was just in my drunken haze that I thought it would fade quietly into the night...

J Perry Stone said...

Nothing out of your mouth, Jade, will ever fade into the night.

Anna Steffl said...

The alcohol has long worn off, but I still think "The Sheik and the Skank" is all that.