Monday, May 9, 2011

Blunt Truths for Aspiring Authors

Writer Chuck Wendig's "Terrible Minds" blog offers what he describes as rants, rambles and babbling. Plus some frank and brutally honest advice to authors. Things that editors wish they could bluntly say to submitting authors, but they can't because they have to be polite and professional. So cheers to Chuck for throwing reality into everyone's face. I recommend all authors read these two "reality checks" in full. Just remember when you get to the brutally honest parts, I didn't say any of this--Chuck did, blame him.

25 Things Every Writer Should Know
1. You are legion
2. You better put the "fun" in "fundamentals"
3. Skill over talent
4. Nobody cares about your Creative Writing degree
5. Speaking of luck
6. This is a slow process
7. Nobody "gets in" the same way
8. Writing feels like--but isn't--magic
9. Storytelling is serious business
10. Your writing has whatever value you give it
11. You are your own worst enemy
12. Your voice is your own
13. Cultivate calluses
14. Stones are polished by agitation
15. Act like an asshole, you'll get treated like an asshole
16. Writing is never about just writing
17. This is an industry of people
18. The worst thing your work can be is boring
19. No, wait, the worst thing your work can be is unclear
20. Writing is about words, storytelling is about life
21. Everything can be fixed in post
22. Quit quitting
23. No such thing as bad writing advice
24. Though, nobody really knows shit about shit
25. Hope will save you

Why Your Novel Won't Get Published

1. Them brownies ain't done baking
2. Your training wheels are still attached
3. You're allergic to following instructions (AKA you suffer from "The Special Snowflake" conundrum)
4. Novel's great, but the query letter sucks eggs
5. You're a dick
6. What genre is that, again?
7. Deja vu
8. The book is not, how you say, "commercially viable?"
9. Sometimes, even the brightest spark won't catch fire
10. Unfortunately, you're a deluded, talentless hack

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